Unique Wedding March

THIS is what it's all about!

Beautiful

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things." Philippians 4:8

Walk this way...

This short post is meant to be a gateway for the raging masses and adoring fans of Curtville, who, sadly, don't know where to find one of the most greatest preachers and Bible scholars in the world today.

People...may I introduce Pastor John MacArthur. Check out his ministries website www.gtycanada.org. I particularly like watching his TV episodes and listening to his sermons. His books are "pretty okay to!" - Mr Miyagi (if you have to ask who Mr Miyagi is may I suggest renting The Karate Kid). The Lord Jesus has, without a doubt, used this man (John MacArthur, not Mr Miyagi) in my life.

Enjoy the site y'all.

The 'net in the Deck

Here I sit. Madly typing away. I'm not typing quickly or in a fast way when I say "madly". I'm typing and I'm mad. Why? Because things in my little world are not how I want them to be. This is the kind of person I am - the reactor. I react to pretty much everything. So, what is the latest thing attracting my ire? The internet!

Out here in the outback know as Waldeck I have "high speed" internet. Of the many things I knew would change when we moved here from Calgary I thought the internet was not one of them. I have suddenly noticed within the last two weeks how crappy my internet connection has become. You see, I am a gamer. I love computer games! I am into one right now, Call of Duty 4, that I play online. Well I have been noticing lately that whenever I try to play I am not able to get onto a server because I have a high ping rate. When I say "high", that's exactly what it is. I surfed the net to get some answers about this and other gamers say their high ping rate is in the 150 to 200 zone. Well, that's my normal ping rate. My high has been 2500 to 3000, but mostly in the 1700 to 2300 range. What does this mean for poor ol' Curt? No winding down at night in my man cave destroying evil foes and bad guys. Why is this so? I pay for "high speed". Should I not get what I pay for? Are there different "high speeds"? Who determines what is high speed? Is there a range? I had high speed in Calgary and it was a rare exception that I could not get onto a game server to play. Out in Waldeck, forget about it!

So, this little tragedy plays out, and I am its mad victim. I don't mean that I'm going mad, I mean...you know!

*sigh*

The mirror

Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror? I mean REALLY looked? What do you see? Every single day I view a figure. Blue eyes, stubble of hair on my head and chin, a little bit of a crooked nose from a little "incident" in Grade 9, a little bit of a tire around the waist. It's all in passing though. Brief moments in the morning and at work in the bathroom. Fleeting. The mirror just reflects an image but doesn't get to the heart of that image - the "who" of it.

Who am I? Am I what I do? Am I a group I'm associated with? Am I the letters after my name (Okay, I know. I have no letters after my name. Gimme a break!) I have started to question this today. Why? It's because of my rampant sin. Weird, eh? I have discovered that I find it very easy to measure myself against other people - and I always come out on top. I see their garbage, their attitudes, their life and I measure it against mine. Of course, theirs is All bad (okay, I'm a nice guy so I sometimes give them little charities here and there in my assessment) and mine is all good (okay, I'm not ALL good so sometimes I back off on my greatness...just a little). It is in the times of being confronted with my sin, when I see what I do and how I go about doing it, that I realize what a tremendous hypocrite that I am. I can't even bring myself comfort by telling myself that others are this way as well because I see the lie in that - I'm still measuring myself by others. I realize how much (and I don't think I really realize HOW much) I have offended God and His Son, Jesus Christ, who bought me with his Life. When I measure myself against Him, I'm hooped! AND, it seems the only time I do a serious measure of myself against Him is when I am face to face with my sin.

I am me. I KNOW I am no better than anyone else, although right now I feel I am worse than everyone else. Inwardly so pious and all-knowing and then to have to see that I'm not, that I'm worse than the people I've measured myself against. I find in these moments that I am like the tax collector who could not even LOOK towards heaven but beat his chest saying, "Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner!" I'm no longer that Pharisee who looks down on the sinner and tsk tsk's at how bad he is.

I am the sinner that I look down on.

Discussions on homosexuality

I have recently involved myself in the giving of my opinion on the issue of homosexuality on the blog of a friend. This friend had started a discussion on this subject to open the lines of communication and engage in discussion about this as kind of an addition to some classes he is offering at his Church. It's pretty cool, actually, that the Church he heads is willing to tackle this issue and to not move into it with all guns blazing, "die homo die" kind of mentality that seems to be, at least behind the scenes, the real feeling of lot's of Christians. From what I can gather in his blog there are those in his church from this lifestyle. My friend invited all to share their comments but they had to do it by using their real names, no anonymous postings, and it had to be in the spirit of open communication. He would write a post and then people would comment on it. I couldn't resist so I offered my two cents.

My post basically entailed this approach: If we're Christians we must go to the Word of God and see what He has given us in His Word on this subject. It was not in a spirit of anger, antagonism or anything else. I also included some of my observations on what I have read about homosexual and lesbian people who say they are Christians and that God blesses what they are doing. My post was responded to by a lady who is a lesbian and from what I could gather, in a relationship with another woman. Essentially, she said that the Word of God was not clear on the issue, and that I have never known a gay or lesbian couple of faith and that she knows that when the two of them are together everything is right in the world and her life - they love each other.

I have gone back and read and re-read that post, and others after it, numerous times in order to understand it. I have come to some conclusions and I'm sure will reach other conclusions as I ponder it. #1 - I really do believe the Word of God is clear on the subject. I can't understand how anyone can read the verses associated with homosexuality and say the Word isn't clear. What I think, however, is that because this is such a huge part of a person's life (it's who and what they are) hearing that a loving God condemns this behavior puts them over the edge. #2 - I have never knowingly met a gay or lesbian couple who say they are Christians. I've know a few gay and lesbian couples, but none who are Christians. They are about as normal as anyone else is. And, the ones I have known are pretty nice people. #3 - I've no doubt whatsoever that this lady and her partner love each other. In fact, I would go so far as to say (of course I don't know them at all) that their relationship may even be more stable and "better" than a non-homosexual or non-lesbian relationship.

The thing is this: These last two realizations have NO impact on what scripture says AT ALL! Scripture should be a guide for our thoughts and actions, not vice-versa. If scripture says something I'm doing is wrong, how I think or feel about it NEEDS TO BE CORRECTED. As soon as this is posted it is immediately labeled as hate, intolerance, anti-gay, backwards, etc. In this day of tolerance there is very little of it when a person brings the Word of God to an issue - to ANY issue. When a person agrees with something there is smiles and warm fuzzies up the wazoo but when a person disagrees...bye bye tolerance. Now it's offensive and hurtful, and hate mongering and homophobia running rampant.

I do not hate people in this lifestyle. Those I have known, as I've said, are pretty nice people. But that has nothing to do with sin. I'm a nice person and I'm RIDDLED with sin! I'm in a committed, loving relationship and I'm full of sin! When my wife and I are together, all in my world is right, but I have the darkest heart on the planet. If what the Word says is ignored we're left with an "everyone did what was right in their own eyes" mentality. If the Word isn't clear on this subject then how do I know it's clear on another? The Word is the Christians guide for..."teaching, reproof, training in righteousness..." The Word is our solid Rock. I do not tell a person in this lifestyle that they're in sin because I hate them. I do not say that God condemns this behavior (it's not the only behavior he condemns) because I think I'm above them or want to hurt them. The Word shines the light on our sin and, hopefully when it is exposed we are driven to God. This is the point: To share the love of Christ with a person in the hope that they will see their sin and come to Christ in repentance and for forgiveness. This is true for a homosexual and a non-homosexual. However, if a person thinks they are doing nothing wrong, and are told they are only doing what God created them to do, and continues to ignore what scripture says then when the Word says, "God gave them over...", He really does give them over to it. I'm sure it's the most wonderful, blessed feeling in the world but those great feelings have nothing to do with what the truth of the matter is. We have what the Word says and if this is ignored, and the pleas of people calling a sinner to repentance or ignored then how long before God gives a person over? What must He do to make it more clear? As Jesus said, "If you don't believe what Moses wrote, how are you going to believe what I say?" - John 5:46

I do not hate homosexuals. I'm not from the Westboro Baptist mindset ("God hates Fags!"). I just have to say that a person can bring the Word of God to a situation and speak on a subject or issue from the Word and it's not hate. The Word is clear. And Jesus Christ died to save sinners, the homosexual and the non-homosexual.

This cat has no hat!

This is Gilbert. Gilbert is our cat. Okay, he's not really our cat but he really likes it over here. We often find him on our deck waiting for the girls to come out and show him some affection. Many times we will pull into the driveway and he will come running over from our neighbors place, meowing ferociously and purring contentedly once the girls smother him. World, meet Gilbert!

Gilbert will often come to our door and stare at us mournfully. As if we are withholding from him the very essence of life.






VICTORY!!!

Life.

I was out working in the yard today. Plating flowers, digging some flower beds, pruning some trees...all that cool stuff I LOVE to do. I love doing things like this. Planting stuff and shaping things, moving stuff around and seeing how they will turn out. We purchased a couple of flowering crab apple trees and they have begun to do what they do - flower. It looks so cool and the smell is amazing. Seeing life beginning again, new growth spurting, birds chirping everywhere - it just made me stop and thank God for this beauty around me. I heard a science teacher say one time that the bugs and the birds don't see in color but some other kind of spectrum, kinda like black and white. The question was then posed - Why all the color? Amongst the flowers, the birds, the butterflies, the bees, etc? Why all the color if they don't see it? Creation is for OUR enjoyment. This just hit me as I was soaking in the sights and sounds of my yard. The only thing I could say was, "Thank you."

A little time away.

It's been a little hectic around here lately. With my father-in-law's and uncle-in-law's huge help we were able to get a second bathroom built and functioning. It was a great time and those two put in a LOT of overtime. It's so cool to now have two john's.

With Spring in full swing there is a lot of work to do in our new yard. Grass to plant, rocks to move, flower beds and a garden to dig and lots of junk to load up and either sell or send to the dump. Great times, and loads of fun. Our yard is so huge and I'm so looking forward to tackling it and seeing how it's going to look in like, August.

We're planning to go to Calgary for the long weekend and see some friends, which will be great. We are hoping to leave the girls in Swift at my in-laws place and the two of us heading up.

Lastly, there is the studying. Man, I have been procrastinating SO hard on this. Part of my probation as an adjuster at work required me to sign up for and Insurance Institute course called "Principles and Practice of Insurance". I wish I could say it was interesting. Okay, maybe some of it is but, man, is it hard to be motivated. I write the exam on July 6 and have finally broken down and began reading the material. It's tough! It's going to be a pretty busy few months and I'm looking forward to it being July 7.

So that's it. My life and all its busyness. No big shakes. It's all good.

We have not been attending a church since my last post. I read the one comment from Dustin and really took it to heart. We may end up just going back there. I'm a pretty sad case because I have no desire whatsoever of serving in the church. I feel that I need my life grounded and rooted in Christ before I could even think about serving in the church. Perhaps when this happens I will actually WANT to do this. I have been reading a lot, listening to a lot of sermons from John MacArthur (These are GREAT and he is such a cool guy. He inspires me!), and reading the Word for the Word. What do I mean by this, "the Word for the Word"? Well, I have noticed that when I have read the Word in the past it has been with the attitude of, "Now how can I preach this in a sermon?", or, "I have to make sure I am reading a good translation and not a paraphrase.", or here's the best one, "So-and-so could REALLY stand to read this portion!" I have noticed that I have been reading the Word out of obligation and with wrong motives, not to get to know Jesus Christ. What do these passages mean? What is the Holy Spirit saying? Where do I fit in with all this? I've been reading "The Living Bible paraphrase" and it is so cool! I've been getting to know Jesus again. I've also been getting to see me. Boy, do I need a Savior! I'm so thankful that God the Father has given his Son for me and that He lives in me by His Spirit. I see my arrogance, my pride, and my indifference towards God and other people and I WANT to be changed. I just don't know how, other than to trust and hope that He will do this in me. I even see the attitude in me as I write this that I should try harder to sound more profound. Boy do I need help!

Time for a change?

When we moved back to Swift Current we started attending the Alliance Church we left all those many years ago. In those days it was what it was. The first Church I had went to after I became a Christian. These were my brothers and sisters in Christ, for good and for ill. It would be an understatement to say that we have changed a little in the preceding years. Although I'm sure this part of the body of Christ has changed, I still see the same...bent, if you will...in the message and direction and will. This direction is towards missions and evangelism. Not surprising, as this is what the Alliance Church is known for. And, these are not bad things in and of themselves. It's the WAY these things are gone about that has been kinda picking away at me all these years.

We would attend the services from time to time over the years and it's the same message dressed up differently and given new names - There is a new program (insert name) that we're promoting. Let's get excited about Christ. Let's go out there and win this city for Jesus. Let's be contagious Christians. Let's pray more. Witness more. Do more. More more. These are great things but I find I'm not buying it anymore. The underlying thing I see here is the mentality that WE/I have to get on board and start doing all this stuff. Once I find my passion, my spiritual gift(s), once I determine my evangelism style, etc., etc., I will then be prepared to win souls for Jesus. Although Jesus is mentioned it seems the bent is towards self reliance, rather than reliance on Him. Instead of learning about Him, about my sin and God's wrath and how much we NEED Him, our Savior, there are endless programs teaching us how to do God's work for Him. I'm lead to believe that if I do all this stuff that people will get saved. But wait a minute! Salvation, conviction of sin, bringing sinners to repentance - this is all GOD'S work. We are HIS instruments, His hands, His feet. He makes the opportunities to share my faith, not me. He uses this dirtbag that is me for His glory, if He so chooses. He chastises me when I sin and shows me that there is NOTHING in me that can even remotely come close to doing what HE does. I can't drum up the energy to be more Christlike. Only Christ can be Christ. HE does that IN me.

I am reminded of the story in the Old Testament where King Saul has been commanded to destroy Amalek. He destroys all but the very best of Amalek. He kept the very best of what God had utterly condemned and then offered it to God. He was rejected as King by God through the prophet Samuel. This same thing is happening here. God has condemned the flesh, the sinful nature, in us nailing it to the cross. Instead we are taking the good stuff of the sinful nature (WE will win this city for Him. WE will pray more. WE will learn more about OUR evangelism style. etc. WE, WE, I, I) and offering it to God. The desire is admirable but how we go about it is not. How can we offer to God what he has already condemened? "It is God who works in us both to will and to do according to His good pleasure." It is God, and not me, who is the Source of this Christian life. No amount of my praying more, doing more, saying more will change this even one iota towards the good unless He is the source of it.

I think that the more I learn about who Jesus is and what He has done for me and what He continues to do for me - in essence, a relationship with Him - will true evangelism happen. I will not have to work up the effort to go out there and tell others about Jesus. I have opportunities come to me as I go about my daily life. I will not have to learn about my evangelism style because Jesus Christ, if He so chooses, uses plain old, sinful, ugly me where I'm at and how I am. It is true freedom knowing that HE can take care of Himself and that His kingdom is not dependant on how I perform here "for Him".

So, I think we may be saying, "Good bye", to this particular portion of the Body of Christ and moving to another. Not sure where that may be yet but I hope the search will not be a long one.

Death and Forgiveness.

It's been quite a week here in Curtville. My grandpa got very sick and passed away. It all happened pretty quickly.

Fifteen years ago my grandpa and I had a...falling out. That's the polite way of putting it. He did something that I thought, and still think, was a terrible wrong. I was angry, and I sent him a letter explaining why and what I thought of what he had done. If I had spoken with him at the time I did not think I could express how I felt appropriately because I was so angry, so I sent the letter. He did not like what I had said and he never said anything. Nothing. No letter, no phone call - nothing. I just heard about how he took it through other members of the family.

As time went on it just became a part of everyday life. That's how things were. That's how they will be. I saw him twice in all that time and when I said, "Hi grandpa.", it was met with a very withdrawn, "Hello Curt.", followed by his walking away. I was very close to my grandma and grandpa growing up and this was how it had turned out. All because I had told him that what he had done was wrong. Well, I'm pretty stubborn and he was as well. Rather than talk about it we both just went our ways. I'm not sure of his thoughts on it but mine were like this: "I have said my piece. If he doesn't want to acknowledge it then I guess that's that."

Last week I heard that my grandpa was sent to the hospital and was pretty sick. He had not eaten anything for a few days and was really weak. He had to go to the hospital by ambulance. When he was in the hospital he started to get better so I thought that things were going to be okay. I then got a call from my folks telling me that he had gotten worse and had a heart attack. It was only a matter of time until he died and would not be making out of the hospital. I packed a bag and went. My dad met me at the hospital and took me to his room. It was pretty late and he was sleeping. He looked like a shell of the man I once knew. He was so skinny, just laying there.

The next day I went with dad and saw my grandpa. He and I talked about what had happened long ago and I told him that I still thought what he had did was wrong but that I wanted to get past this. He did what he did and I said what I said. We could not change that but we could decide to forgive each other. We did. This made me think about the forgiveness of Jesus Christ when he forgave me. I was, and still am, a sinner. He forgave me knowing the worst about me and knowing, also, the sins I would commit in the future. He did this. Why couldn't I? Pride. Arrogance. Anger. Stubbornness. One of any number of reasons will suffice, but they all are valid.

I now wish I had done this earlier, before he died. It would have been so cool having my girls meet him - my grandpa on the farm. I would have been so cool having him meet them - my little poopsies.

I miss you, granpda. I wish....

Is the cord really cut?

I do believe that all the things that have been tying us to Alberta are at last gone. All ties, other that our awesome friends, that is.

The T4 arrived here the other day from the last place I worked there. As I have mentioned before that circumstances that lead to my leaving were not good. My old martial arts teacher and, I thought, friend, was my old boss and the owner of the company that I worked for. I refused to commit certain illegal acts that he assured me were not illegal and what followed was threats, intimidation and the like. He failed to pay me my holiday pay but I thought since I did get the majority of my final paycheck he could keep the rest. I found out later through other co-workers that he thought himself quite clever for doing this. I had let them know the address where I wanted my T4 mailed and they sent it to an address that did not exist. Thankfully this is a somewhat small place and the mail person brought it to the correct address - although they got the first number in the address wrong they did spell my name right. This brought out a lot of thoughts. Knowing what I know of them I think they did this intentionally. They mailed it out and if it got to the wrong address, oh well. It would have meant a longer wait for me but they would have had it mailed out in time for tax season. I don't know how many times I sat there and listened to him talk about being sneaky with people he owed money to or some other thing. Anyway, it made me want to play along with it to see where it would go. Maybe I would email them and ask them when they were going to send it, then see what they would do. I then thought that I have what they were supposed to send me. Let them live in the world they have created for themselves. What part do I want in that world?

It is amazing to me how people, including this person, work harder at being dishonest, weaving lie upon lie, than they do at being honest and owning up to the crap they get themselves into. They would rather lie and connive than take responsibility for their actions. I still have the application for the black belt test that I would have taken and in it there is talk about how a black belt is to be upstanding in society and blah, blah, blah. This guys life definitely does NOT reflect this lofty ideal that he wants his black belts to have. It is such a waste of time trying to one-up someone or to work at making another person's life terrible. I see the person that he is and feel extreme sadness and pity for him. A life like his is NOT one of peace and in the end all that he has sown will come to fruition and he will have to live in the circumstances he has created.

If only you were what you try so hard to make other people believe you are. It was that guy that I respected and thought was so cool. I forgive you because I have been where you are right now and Jesus Christ forgave me and is changing me.

Then and now.

The other day my wife was called and told that our movie rental account had been chosen to have a free movie. That was pretty cool! So she went out and got a movie called the Kite Runner. It sounded like something that would be a good sit down to watch movie. Without going much further here I will say that we started it and then promptly stopped it after seeing the movie rating as it came on the screen. So, some of you may have seen the Kite Runner and have nothing but accolades for it. So, anyways, the rating of the movie flashed on the screen and among the ditties mentioned it said, "...sexual assault of a child..." This actually made us a little sick when we saw it. I know this kind of shit happens in the world and there are movies with references to children being abused but do I really need to, possibly, watch a scene that makes reference to this? Again, not having seen the movie I have only my imagination to go on with this but that is definitely not where I want to go.

We then put in an old black and white movie we have starring James "Jimmy" Stewart called, "Mr Smith Goes to Washington". Put aside all the "Rah Rah America" stuff in there and it was awesome! Such a contrast between how movies were made back then compared to now. No naked women, raunchy sex scenes, no violence up the wazoo, swearing every second letter, etc. Watching it actually made me want to be a better person (I can't believe I just said that). Movies rarely have this effect on me. You have a man in a position of power thinking about the good of others and he's fighting the corruption all around him. He doesn't fight it with violence but with talk and upright action and the corruption does not make him compromise. A man of principal who does the right thing because it's the right thing, regardless of personal cost. Man, what a role model! What a life to aspire to! The Bible talks about the Christian living a life that makes others thirst for Christ. A life "seasoned with salt". If the salt loses its saltiness.... Jimmy Stewart, a.k.a Mr Smith's life made me thirsty.

If there was more of that in the movie world would that kind of movie make money? I think the movie would have to have the sex, violence and nudity with a character who gets the job done in order to be successful. It's just nice watching something good that doesn't have that.

Way ta go, Jimmy!!!

The Alberta Advantage

I have been musing lately on how interesting things are with our move to Saskatchewan. Although we are here there are still things that tie us to Alberta. The one and only good thing is our friends there. The others, well...

Take for instance my old job. I have emailed them asking for my T4 slip to be mailed to me and they returned a very professional, "No problem.", email. Since I know the people behind the "No problem", I can guess that they will wait until the very last day of tax season before they drop it in the mail to send to me. Who knows, they may even keep it for a day or two extra as this is what they did with my final pay - waited until a few days past the legal limit before mailing it to me. They also failed to pay me my holiday pay but I figured that at least I got the majority of the money from them and would never have to see/talk/email/deal with them again. Sadly, the T4 remains one of the bad links to Alberta and the garbage of that old company. I will not name the company...yet. Who knows, maybe by the time I actually get to naming it they will have gone bankrupt or the bosses put in jail.

The second thing is our Health insurance - AB Health to be exact. When we were moved in here and all was well we contacted AB Health to see how long we had coverage before we needed to switch. Sadly, we should have contacted Sask. Health. AB Health said we had to go an extra month past our 3 month timeline. This meant they got an extra month out of us in terms of money. They also told us that, get ready for it, THEY would complete all the necessary details to get us switched over to Sask. Health. I remember asking my wife, "WOW! That's kind of wild that they would do that, eh?" So, this last week I was thinking that we hadn't heard anything about our health stuff AT ALL. I mentioned this to my wife when I got home from work and low and behold she had been thinking the same thing that day. So, she called to find out what's up and discovered that we have NO health insurance at all. AB Health DIDN'T complete the necessary details to get us switched. So, my wife had to do a bunch of running around to get the Sask Health benefits application and then complete it. It made me wonder, "If anything happened where we were required to use AB Health what would they have done?" Would they have taken care of us? Or, would they have left us twisting in the wind? Why, I wonder, would they say one thing and then not do it? This again is the other thing that keeps us tied, somewhat, to Alberta.

I can hardly wait for the day when I can say, "I am a full Saskatchewanian again. Hear me ROAR!!!". Until that day comes, I'll have a VICO and keep the bunny-hug done up.

The new year.

It's been pretty busy in Curtville this year. Work is insane and this has been the biggest busy of this busy year. It's pretty overwhelming and I am getting stretched more than I have been in a LONG while. Hopefully I can make it through this time.

I was in town today and noticed something interesting. It is really quite amazing how the stores move from holiday to holiday as soon as they possibly can. There are Valentines Day AND Easter stuff already on sale here. I was thinking, "How quickly we forget Christmas." I wonder how this is. It seems like I spent weeks gearing up for Christmas. Weeks. Anything commercial having to do with Christmas was everywhere. Now, it's like a wind just came and blew it all away. Where did it go? What happened? Oh, another holiday it coming? Gotcha. Better start gearing up. Really bizarre. Does humanity need this? Is this what we're about? Moving from one celebration to another with no thought as to what we're celebrating. Get the gifts. Give the gifts. Stay up til midnight partying. Buy something red and chocolatey and heart shaped for that special someone. Buy something chocolatey and rabbit-ish to celebrate the death of Jesus Christ. What's next?

Thoughts and a rant and...

Happy New Year everyone. Man, I got a real hankerin' for chocolate.